Fight out the day’s pressure

Though enjoyment has turned away its face from my college life in the recent few weeks, it suddenly came back today!! I have always been a non-violent person, I never did really like the concept of hurting others unnecessarily, but on this day I realized how much fun it can be for you to win a fight!! Not a mere cat-fight, but a real one-to-one karate fight with a well built boy. The previous time won a fight with this same boy I felt, he had let me win. Since with the two of us standing side by side, it would appear, that  with one of his punch I’d fly and land out of the field!! So, he had sympathy on me let me win, but today I won by myself.

Actually, today I had made up my mind to tell Sir to excuse me from this practice session since I was very tired. I didn’t have enough time to come back home and take rest and then leave for my Karate class, as I returned very late from college. But like it is said every dark cloud has a silver lining, I had one too. I don’t know from where I got so much energy to do all the exercises and then fight, but I did them surprisingly.

Now let me describe how the fights generally happen. You’ll be given fighting partners and made to stand facing each other. First you have to bow to your Sensei (or your instructors who are conducting the fight) then you have to bow to your partner and start off the fight. No matter how hard you try to win, you are not supposed to injure your partner intentionally. I always try to follow the rules as much as I can, because in sports, discipline is one of the most important aspects, and you should also never underestimate or be jealous of your opponent. Till that spirit is there in you, you’ll rise; once my sports teacher at school, Rocky Sir said, “You must have confidence in yourself, but never be over confident.” It is such a true saying. Okay, let’s get back to the topic. We started our fight; I did not wait for my opponent to charge so I took the responsibility of hitting him first. (Once Rocky Sir told me if you are bold enough just jump; it was actually meant for the race tracks, but I took it in for all aspects of life and have found the process quite effective). I kicked him straight on his back and got 2 points. Then we continued moving and eyeing each other. Then he tried to kick me but I saved the kick effectively, these futile trials continued for both of us for a while , then I kicked  him again, seeing him loose patience and standing defenselessly,  straight on the chest,. And there went 2 more points. Now it was a 4-0 match. “It was a good start”, I soothed myself, but like it is always said, never be satisfied with what you have, he punched me on the right shoulder, as I had moved in too close. It was partly because of his clever trick as well; generally a kick is replied by a kick, so I was prepared to save a kick but little did I know a tiny punch will land on my shoulder and give him a point! I appreciated this intelligence. Now it was 4-1. Then the fight continued, we kept kicking and punching each other and saving all of them effectively. Then I decided to punch his head, that would give me 3 points and I would win, as the game was a 5 point winning one. He was not guarding his head and I took the advantage of the situation and punched. The helpless guy moved his head backwards to escape the hit, but my punch was a bit forceful than we both had anticipated and I hit him somewhere near his eye. I felt horribly sorry for had I had done. So I burst out in series of, “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to hit you on the eye, it was intended for your head.” He seemed shocked, and Sir said something to even dishearten him, “You couldn’t save a little punch from this girl??”

Well, had it been a fight during the examination I would have been disqualified. Anyways after a break it continued, without wasting any more time I wanted to get over with it, so I ended the fight with a slight front kick. And I WON!! This would be the first time I had won a fight with a boy, who’s somewhat similar to my weight and on my own confidence. I felt so light and feathery, as if I carried no weight!! May be that’s an effect of experiencing extreme suppressed happiness!! All’s well that ends well. So my day did go well, and to some extent I’m a bit proud of myself. (But I shouldn’t be, as this feeling always ruins the future….  so let’s say I’m not very proud of me but I’m proud to have the best Karate instructor – Sensei Mir)

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Thriving in emptiness

Sometimes life brings the unexpected, and puts you in situations when you are left in the middle of nowhere.  You want to cry out your heart but you can’t, in the fear of exposing your mind to the world. You have everything but you still lack that something which would give you happiness and tranquility. Even in the middle of the common humdrum of life you get reminded by a strong old memory, which seems as new as a freshly baked cake, that you are forbidden from being satisfied and happy. Even though you have all the reasons to be happy, you are not, because you constantly feel that pain, the pain which tears you from within and hurts your chest, every time you want to fight back your tears or you want to forget “Him”. That is when you may realize that your mind is actually situated inside your chest, maybe somewhere close to your heart, that is why it always hurts in there when you are reminded of a sad memory. Life sometimes gives us more than we deserve and to keep things balanced often snatches away from us what we should have had. At one moment you may feel highly excited or contented but immediately in the next moment your mind is shattered by that long lost thought of a special sight you always longed for. And you feel that you are supposed to live your life in the memory of the most awaited call or answer which you never got. You know that you can never forget certain things; you can never erase them out of your mind, they are painful; yet you want to cling on to them all throughout your life. May be you are addicted to that pain, and you find yourself deserving!! And then comes the time when you feel like leaving everything behind and just disappear the same way your happiness left you….

 

When the rain turns evil

“Rain rain go away, come again another day”- That’s what I want to scream out when the horrible rain attacks me whenever I step out of the house! I have been observing this rainfall for almost 2 months now, looks like it has some kind of grudge against me. I say so because whenever I step out of the house, of college or whatever place of shelter, it pours down and gets ends my jeans and my feet wet with all that mud water and also gives me enough reasons to walk slowly and I have to hold a big round umbrella above all to protect my head- only the head, the rest of my body gets drenched from either the wind blowing with the rain or the racing cars splashing out from puddles, natural rainwater harvests. I feel so, so angry. I want to run out to rain, if it were human and jump over it and go on hitting it till it apologized to me for ruining my day.

Okay, I know sometimes it is good to feel the rain, but that’s when you are in a romantic mood or you are probably thinking of your beau or you have nothing else to do than get drenched in the rain. But definitely not when you are going out for work or you are out for some shopping or coming back home tired carrying all the huge bags with you. That is when rain actually ruins your day and shows its evil effects. I have loads of examples on how unwanted rain actually makes you feel that it is bad, very bad. Just today in the morning, I had to go out for some official work. The weather was quite good until I got ready to leave, it turned cloudy and windy. By the time I could reach the bus stop, came down several tiny drops of the heavenly water. And even though I raced down the road to get into an Auto-rickshaw the stupid rain came down heavily and got hold of me and successfully made dark blue spots on my sky-blue t-shirt and drenched my shoes completely. And whatever was left of me got wet by the dripping rainwater from the sides of the auto-rickshaw! Guess what, it continued till I entered the bank but just after that it stopped! What would you call it apart from the evil intentions of the rain? I sometimes really cannot stand the rain because it ruins my mood like this. After finishing the work as I stepped out on the road it was not raining anymore, I immediately got onto a bus, but misfortune doesn’t leave you soon. No sooner did I step out the bus did the rains start again and I entered home with a grudging look on my face and made my mother wonder what had happened that had turned me off completely.

Can happiness be bought?

Alik Sukh means “baseless/false/empty happiness”. Alik Shukh is not a film that you may call “Beautiful”, but this film brings out facts and shows how people commit silly mistakes and bear the burden long enough to blame themselves for the rest of their lives. Mistakes may happen, and it may also seem that, one mistake wasn’t of much importance, but little do we know how much our tiny negligence can affect another soul.  The story is about how a simple choice of booking a luxury apartment over operating a patient in time brings about a turning point in the life a gynecologist, Dr. Kingshuk Guha (Debshankar Haldar). His patient dies of certain post operational problems after a caesarean delivery as he could not reach in time for her treatment. His wife (Rituparna Sengupta) rushes to meet him at the nursing home on hearing the news that the patient party had started accusing the doctor and damaging the nursing home, and then she sees the deserted corpse of the lady. She feels as if she could hear the lady’s troubles and sorrow of dying. Back home, the doctor comes up with several excuses and tries to prove himself innocent, also stating the ‘risk factor’ in an operation, but his wife, in her unconscious cannot trust him and she starts hallucinating the dead lady Kabita (Sohini Sengupta). Things get worse when Kabita’s husband files a case at the consumer forum against the doctor.
Alik Sukh (2013)

The Film is directed by Shibprasad Mukhopadhyay and Nandita Roy. The former himself had faced certain similar problems in his personal life due to which he could portray the situation so well, with the help of a novel of the same name. Acting has been unquestionably to the point, no melodrama and no dragging. Sohini Sengupta looked really scary in some scenes, and according to me she was the best actor in the film given to her less screen time. Suddenly on seeing her one would definitely think her to be some apparition. Rituparna Sengupta is no doubt a wonderful actor, she has once more proven herself in this field, and the same goes with Debshankar Haldar, he carried out the part of the frustrated and self justifying doctor pretty well.

We do face several situations in life when we treat certain things as less important, and simply forget about how our deeds may affect others. When we find the horrifying consequences brought about by us, we are dumbfounded and to cover up the misdeeds we justify ourselves to the fullest and try to convince others of our innocence. Moreover the convincing factor arises for one’s own conscience. How can a person ever lie to himself? He/she simply justifies his/her tasks to make it feel important or trifle as the situation calls for. We run after money, everybody does, no fault with that. As it is said love and compassion cannot meet anybody’s daily necessities, money is required. But in that marathon we often loose our happiness and cause of living. People want to earn more money to life a better life, and so they spend their lives earning, and forget to live! When the time for living finally comes they realize that “Life’s almost over, I forgot to live, enjoy and smile. All I did was earning” Earning what? – “Happiness”- which ideally cannot be bought. So what are these people left with? Just an empty box of money and busyness. They do everything but gain nothing. This is what the film is basically about, I may not suggest anything today, regarding justifying oneself or treating situations. These are very humane, no one situation matches with another, so no problem has the same solution. Since every individual has a separate life they have separate problems and solutions. All that could be said is, whatever you have done till date is your past, there’s no point in pondering on that, rather concentrate in your present and future, and try to be reasonable in all the events and situations in your life, think from both the ends of the matter. It is then that we understand someone else’s troubles when we face something similar. So, do not just bark-out solutions from your side also think of your opponent, in whatever matter concerned. At least try. If you try you will have a true alibi for yourself, and self containment is very important, no matter how much guilty the world finds you, if you are clear to yourself you will be happy. And this happiness need not be bought, it will be free.